Now, don’t get me wrong, you can’t like yourself too much. The Charlie Brown record I owned as a young child taught me that. Lucy coming over the mono speaker saying she had "thick beauty" that went down "layer after layer". Wise words indeed.
Lucy said she’d been loving herself for years, and still felt she had a long, long way to go. When poor moon-headed Charlie Brown asked if she felt she might be conceited Lucy replied with all the disdain that Lucy can muster that that, was impossible, as you can’t like yourself too much. Formative words for a 6 year old.
And, surprisingly spot on. Well, comedy is like that, a kernal of truth surrounding a joke. Though how better off would so many people be if they could just love themselves the way they are.
Which, brings me to a date of a while back; Rudel. We’d met online, had chatted back and forth in emails for a while. Exchanged photos, telephone numbers and thoughts on a number of topics.
Rudel had a lot of pictures to share. Most of them “pensive”. That is, him, looking off camera with either a thoughtful or constipated look. Depending on how you interpreted the shot. Sometimes combining both, a constipated expression wondering when a bowel movement would occur.
Anyway, we met for dinner. I had decided upon Indian, and Rudel had agreed. He informed me upon picking me up that he was vegetarian. Well, a vegetarian that ate fish, milk, cheese, just no beef, as his body no longer produced the enzymes to digest red meat.
I was tempted to ask what tests he’d performed to ascertain this sudden lack of enzymes, and did we perhaps need to stop by an emergency room. Anyway, the dinner was pleasant, though I found myself getting more and more waspish by the end of the evening. I considered myself lucky to get out of there for a $40 meal.
Well, Rudel had a better time than me, as he asked me out again. I guess being a sucker for a pretty face, or a glutton for punishment, you be the judge, I went. This time it was Japanese, where I was maligned for liking California rolls. Needless to say, I didn't pay this time.
Well, longer story longer, we went to his place to chat after dinner. Where I noticed upon walking him, a picture of him. Nothing too unusual about that, other than it greeted you upon walking into his place. Rudel eagerly offered to give me a tour of his apartment.
In the hallway, his cheery face greeted me from four pictures, in the bathroom Rudel looked again pensively downwards (the constipated look suitably fitting the room). The guest room had more shots of his face, and his master bedroom had him not only on the bedside table, but also on the walls. Framed, and lit.
I mentioned the many photographs of himself that were adorning the walls. Rudel was shocked to think there might be someone else there.
He ran to get a photo displayed on the coffee table with him, and his nephew. He was adamant that he didn’t only have pictures of himself displayed. I asked if the only reason this was out was because he really liked the way he looked in the shot, and the nephew was only incidental. Rudel mumbled something about liking the way he looked in the picture, but, his nephew was there too. Which is an error I’m sure would be corrected once Rudel became more proficient in Photoshop. Nephew, what nephew?
Now, I finally think I met someone who liked themselves too much. I do have pictures of me at my house. However, these are with friends, not solo. In fact, the only solo shot I have displaed is one that was taken by my mother, and I didn't tell her to take it.
None of my other pictures are of me, posed by me, directing friends to take me in the “pose” I had adopted. Rudel proudly explained that he’d thought of each shot, and had made his friends and siblings take the pictures. Then he broke out his laptop for an evening of viewing him in different poses in places he visited.
For some reason he started to get offended when I asked if there were any pictures with his shirt off. Don’t get me wrong, he had plenty of shots of him without a shirt, and in his underwear and swimwear. But, he was offended that I only wanted to see those.
He stated that if I thought of him as just meat, I could leave.
So I did.
I mean, don’t press me, give me an out, any out, I’ll take it!
Thank fully he hasn’t called again.
But, at least I’ll always have the (many) pictures he gave me.
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