I went out for Dim Sum on Sunday morning, and my friend wanted me to try dishes I hadn’t tried before.
This is how I found out I am very western in my Dim Sum ordering: shu mai, hai gow, custard tarts, chicken buns, pork buns, Chinese broccoli, sesame balls, lotus balls, fried tofu – all good.
Though lately, my “strange” western palate has been pointed out by different Chinese friends. For example, people have chastened me for happening to like chili oil with my pork buns, and no amount of explaining will convince friends that a dash of soy sauce brings out the sweetness of sesame balls.
Anyway, growing up I was never a fan of kidney, liver or tripe. This really hasn’t changed. Which brings me to Sunday morning Dim Sum and my friend saying that I just had to try “nu zha”. I would have been fine doing that, but then he had to go and give me the ingredient list – with a literal translation.
“It’s made from pig’s intestine, pig’s liver, tripe, and then the soup is made with pig’s blood. Try it, it’s good.”
After that, going round and round in my head was “intestine, blood, tripe, liver, pig’s blood, intestine, blood, tripe, pig’s blood”.
I wish I’d just been told “it’s pork”. I don’t need to know where on the animal it comes from. If I know that, it just leads to thinking that has me joining Peta and becoming vegetarian with tofurky becoming a household staple.
I was eating the other dishes that arrived via hot steamy steel carts, but hadn’t yet got stuck into “nu zha”.
“You’re avoiding that, aren’t you?”
Well, yes, I was. But I picked up a piece of tripe anyway, and asked if I should add chili oil to it. The flat stare back was answer enough. I stuck it in my mouth and chewed. The taste was actually quite good, it was the texture that got me.
Like chewing gum, but without the gum.
Then with each mastication I could only think “pig’s blood, intestine, tripe, pig’s blood” like some strange voodoo ritual just inside my head.
I tried it – I ate it – I won’t order it again.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Nothing to fear execpt fear itself (and cars)
Some days are just like this I guess.
Driving to work this morning on the 110 freeway in Los Angeles, I came to a large section of stopped traffic near the end of the freeway. The traffic lights were out, and a traffic cop was directing traffic.
It was at this point, I noticed my car taking a serious lean towards the right. This is how I came to find I had a flat tire on the oldest, narrowest freeway in Los Angeles. No shoulder, nowhere to pull over – just 1 of 3 lanes.
I put on the emergency lights, hopped out and opened the boot grabbing the jack and spare tire. It’s quite the special feeling to have a half mile of cars behind you, all stuck until they can get by you as you change a flat. On the bright side, the flat tire was on the side of the car away from the other traffic, and there were the lights that weren’t functioning. This meant that traffic was moving at a crawl anyway, so the chance of being mowed over by someone putting on makeup or texting was very slight.
Well, I’ve lived through one of my greatest fears – breaking down on the freeway – and lived to tell. With that one off the list, I hope this doesn’t mean that an actual vampire is going to break into my house at night, cause that’s on the list of my greatest fears too.
Driving to work this morning on the 110 freeway in Los Angeles, I came to a large section of stopped traffic near the end of the freeway. The traffic lights were out, and a traffic cop was directing traffic.
It was at this point, I noticed my car taking a serious lean towards the right. This is how I came to find I had a flat tire on the oldest, narrowest freeway in Los Angeles. No shoulder, nowhere to pull over – just 1 of 3 lanes.
I put on the emergency lights, hopped out and opened the boot grabbing the jack and spare tire. It’s quite the special feeling to have a half mile of cars behind you, all stuck until they can get by you as you change a flat. On the bright side, the flat tire was on the side of the car away from the other traffic, and there were the lights that weren’t functioning. This meant that traffic was moving at a crawl anyway, so the chance of being mowed over by someone putting on makeup or texting was very slight.
Well, I’ve lived through one of my greatest fears – breaking down on the freeway – and lived to tell. With that one off the list, I hope this doesn’t mean that an actual vampire is going to break into my house at night, cause that’s on the list of my greatest fears too.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Riddle Me This
I went for my naturalization interview yesterday.
After years and years of not even thinking about it, this last election season made me re-examine why I hadn’t done so earlier. Part of it was definitely not wanting to have any personal official document signed by the current president. And, at some point I would still like to go back to New Zealand. I think it’s just the fact that I’ve been very happy with my current state that it hasn’t been a pressing issue.
That said, I’ve also had more than enough of being hassled at customs due to my unique green card. You’d think, if you work for the government you should know the different types of green cards and immigration documents that are issued. You’d be wrong of course, but I guess it doesn’t mean that you still can’t think it.
My main worry had been the “test”. This consists of being asked a series of 10 random questions from a possible 100 – I'd been obsessing over the first 13 states, and the date the constitution was adopted. The rest were easy enough to memorize.
The government worker I got informed me my English was pretty good, so she was going to go fast. If I had questions, I should stop her, and then she barreled rapid fire into the questions.
1. What are the colours (sorry, colors) of the stars on the flag?
2. How many senators are there in the U.S. senate?
3. What are the three branches of government?
4. Who becomes president if the president dies?
5. Who is the current chief justice of the Supreme Court?
6. Who did we fight during the war of independence?
7. Who was president during the civil war?
8. How long is a member of the House of Representatives elected for?
9. What are the first 10 amendments to the constitution called?
AND...
10. What were the original 13 states called before they were states?
The last one ALMOST tripped me up, as I was wanting to rattle off the 13 names I’m memorized (in vain). But, I passed these questions with fly colors (still prefer colours).
Then she began to ask the questions that covered whether I was a drunkard or hired prostitutes or planned to overthrow any government. Perhaps America has had trouble in he past with drunk John's launching rebellion attempts. It sounds rather 1800's to me, but there you go. I guess it's best to learn from past mishaps.
Still when faced with absurd questions, there’s always that part of me that wants to answer “yes” and then launch into a very explicit explanation of why I did such a thing -
"Yes, I have frequented prostitutes while drunk, and OH the countries I would overthrow. Well, you see one night - after consuming 3 bottles of absinthe I ended up kicking Plantain out of the car, I didn't tip, well you know how that is. Prossies can so overcharge if they're just listening to you. I zipped up and thought about overthrowing Moldavia. Plantain asked for her bra back, "her" is the correct pronoun if they're transgender right? I forget. - Anyway, Moldavia is the country Michael Praed was from in Dynasty. I know it's not a real country, so I don't really think that counts as wanting to overthrow a government, cause it's a monarchy, but still, a pretend prince is better than not being a prince right? Sorry, what was the question again?"
– all of which would have been a complete fabrication, still, the urge is there.
I guess it's best that I didn't do any of that.
After years and years of not even thinking about it, this last election season made me re-examine why I hadn’t done so earlier. Part of it was definitely not wanting to have any personal official document signed by the current president. And, at some point I would still like to go back to New Zealand. I think it’s just the fact that I’ve been very happy with my current state that it hasn’t been a pressing issue.
That said, I’ve also had more than enough of being hassled at customs due to my unique green card. You’d think, if you work for the government you should know the different types of green cards and immigration documents that are issued. You’d be wrong of course, but I guess it doesn’t mean that you still can’t think it.
My main worry had been the “test”. This consists of being asked a series of 10 random questions from a possible 100 – I'd been obsessing over the first 13 states, and the date the constitution was adopted. The rest were easy enough to memorize.
The government worker I got informed me my English was pretty good, so she was going to go fast. If I had questions, I should stop her, and then she barreled rapid fire into the questions.
1. What are the colours (sorry, colors) of the stars on the flag?
2. How many senators are there in the U.S. senate?
3. What are the three branches of government?
4. Who becomes president if the president dies?
5. Who is the current chief justice of the Supreme Court?
6. Who did we fight during the war of independence?
7. Who was president during the civil war?
8. How long is a member of the House of Representatives elected for?
9. What are the first 10 amendments to the constitution called?
AND...
10. What were the original 13 states called before they were states?
The last one ALMOST tripped me up, as I was wanting to rattle off the 13 names I’m memorized (in vain). But, I passed these questions with fly colors (still prefer colours).
Then she began to ask the questions that covered whether I was a drunkard or hired prostitutes or planned to overthrow any government. Perhaps America has had trouble in he past with drunk John's launching rebellion attempts. It sounds rather 1800's to me, but there you go. I guess it's best to learn from past mishaps.
Still when faced with absurd questions, there’s always that part of me that wants to answer “yes” and then launch into a very explicit explanation of why I did such a thing -
"Yes, I have frequented prostitutes while drunk, and OH the countries I would overthrow. Well, you see one night - after consuming 3 bottles of absinthe I ended up kicking Plantain out of the car, I didn't tip, well you know how that is. Prossies can so overcharge if they're just listening to you. I zipped up and thought about overthrowing Moldavia. Plantain asked for her bra back, "her" is the correct pronoun if they're transgender right? I forget. - Anyway, Moldavia is the country Michael Praed was from in Dynasty. I know it's not a real country, so I don't really think that counts as wanting to overthrow a government, cause it's a monarchy, but still, a pretend prince is better than not being a prince right? Sorry, what was the question again?"
– all of which would have been a complete fabrication, still, the urge is there.
I guess it's best that I didn't do any of that.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Paradoxical
My friend Mike and I were discussing ex's.
He mentioned that his ex has a lot of really ugly boyfriends in his past. Yet, his boyfriend thinks they were all cute.
And now, his boyfriend thinks Mike is really cute.
Is it a compliment to be told you're cute by someone with bad taste?
Does it call in to question how you view your own cuteness?
He mentioned that his ex has a lot of really ugly boyfriends in his past. Yet, his boyfriend thinks they were all cute.
And now, his boyfriend thinks Mike is really cute.
Is it a compliment to be told you're cute by someone with bad taste?
Does it call in to question how you view your own cuteness?
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