Riddle Me This

I went for my naturalization interview yesterday.

After years and years of not even thinking about it, this last election season made me re-examine why I hadn’t done so earlier. Part of it was definitely not wanting to have any personal official document signed by the current president. And, at some point I would still like to go back to New Zealand. I think it’s just the fact that I’ve been very happy with my current state that it hasn’t been a pressing issue.

That said, I’ve also had more than enough of being hassled at customs due to my unique green card. You’d think, if you work for the government you should know the different types of green cards and immigration documents that are issued. You’d be wrong of course, but I guess it doesn’t mean that you still can’t think it.

My main worry had been the “test”. This consists of being asked a series of 10 random questions from a possible 100 – I'd been obsessing over the first 13 states, and the date the constitution was adopted. The rest were easy enough to memorize.

The government worker I got informed me my English was pretty good, so she was going to go fast. If I had questions, I should stop her, and then she barreled rapid fire into the questions.

1. What are the colours (sorry, colors) of the stars on the flag?
2. How many senators are there in the U.S. senate?
3. What are the three branches of government?
4. Who becomes president if the president dies?
5. Who is the current chief justice of the Supreme Court?
6. Who did we fight during the war of independence?
7. Who was president during the civil war?
8. How long is a member of the House of Representatives elected for?
9. What are the first 10 amendments to the constitution called?

AND...

10. What were the original 13 states called before they were states?

The last one ALMOST tripped me up, as I was wanting to rattle off the 13 names I’m memorized (in vain). But, I passed these questions with fly colors (still prefer colours).

Then she began to ask the questions that covered whether I was a drunkard or hired prostitutes or planned to overthrow any government. Perhaps America has had trouble in he past with drunk John's launching rebellion attempts. It sounds rather 1800's to me, but there you go. I guess it's best to learn from past mishaps.

Still when faced with absurd questions, there’s always that part of me that wants to answer “yes” and then launch into a very explicit explanation of why I did such a thing -

"Yes, I have frequented prostitutes while drunk, and OH the countries I would overthrow. Well, you see one night - after consuming 3 bottles of absinthe I ended up kicking Plantain out of the car, I didn't tip, well you know how that is. Prossies can so overcharge if they're just listening to you. I zipped up and thought about overthrowing Moldavia. Plantain asked for her bra back, "her" is the correct pronoun if they're transgender right? I forget. - Anyway, Moldavia is the country Michael Praed was from in Dynasty. I know it's not a real country, so I don't really think that counts as wanting to overthrow a government, cause it's a monarchy, but still, a pretend prince is better than not being a prince right? Sorry, what was the question again?"

– all of which would have been a complete fabrication, still, the urge is there.

I guess it's best that I didn't do any of that.