Something came to mind that I thought I’d share, as Dena (www.outshined.com) commented that she really enjoyed the PorkChop story.
Many years ago now, in a world not as cynical as today, Dena, PC (see the previous post) & I were driving to help a friend move out of Riverside. Or was it Fallbrook? I forget, but the point being, those are both places you’d want to move from if you lived there. So, we’re in Dena’s red car on our way to said friends (in Fallside/Riverbrook) discussing things, as people do.
This might have been the time that Dena revealed she’d traded the gold fillings in her teeth for 2nd row BackStreet Boys tickets in Las Vegas, I don’t recall, but I do recall the following…
PC, for some strange reason, has always been a great admirer of the more salient assets of the female figure - commented to me that Dena had “quite big tits.”
Dena had a small car, candy apple red, no AC, and that San Diego summer day was hotter than usual so the windows were down and the air was ripping through the cars innards as we traversed up the 15 at 90 MPH.
In something not unlike a special effect from the original Exorcist, Dena turns her head right round on her neck, glowers and with a voice which might have made Satan tremble (as it started low and terrifying until it built to a roar at the end of her statement) said “I - am - NOT - A - DITZ!!!”
Needless to say, I was speechless, and a mite frightened, as Dena was no longer looking at the road, but trying to skewer us through with her vision. Visions of us plowing off the 15 into Lawrence Welk scattering old people before us was a big possibility at that moment.
PC quickly mentioned that he hadn’t actually called her a ditz, rather, had said she had big tits.
Well, it was as though you’d handed a five year old a lollypop behind his mothers back, as apparently this was quite ok. Quick as a summer shower Dena, now pleased as punch, turned her attention back to road with a beaming smile, saying, “OH! That’s ok then.”
Which goes to show, some folks would rather have big tits than ever be thought of as a ditz.
2 comments:
My dear friend Darren in the past you have accused me of “Denavizing” a story once in a while, but not it’s my turn to tell you you are “Darivizing” this story. While your story is mostly true (and entertaining), you have, spoken some mistruths. Let me correct them for you. We were moving Shannon from Temecula to her apartment in San Diego. It was not my car that we were in, but Shannons; I have never owned a red car in my life. I also was not the driver of the car, well, that part is a little fuzzy, but I believe P.C. was the driver, I was the passanger and you were in the back seat. I don’t think I could have driven very well with the both of you cracking jokes every 5 seconds. I remember laughing so hard I was crying. And I do remember stating that “ I was not a ditz” but not to extent that would make Satan stand up and give me a high-five. Honestly. I’m still not entirly sure why Dave was so interested in my, how did you put it my salient assets, but as I recall he made a comment over breakfast that Shannon, Diane and myself all had salient assets as well. Thankfully you decided to write about the ditz story and not the one about going to lunch at Chili’s and how I got us there.
D.
Let me again stand on the soap box and right a wrong..
I could never have hocked my gold teeth for BSB tickets since I've never had a gold tooth. Of course if you are using the gold teeth as a metaphor for those tickets costing me way too much, then ok, because they did. Funny how you grow up - spending that much money for that concert - lol. It sounded good at the time :)
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