Man About The House

An Asian lady came into Famima!! this morning. She had a hoodie shirt on, grey slacks, big dark sunglasses and a green frog-like purse. Very pretty, with a mysterious air.

She stood eyeing our Steam Bun display, obviously waiting for someone to approach her.

I gave her a cheery “good morning” and asked if she needed any assistance. Which is when, I was treated to the following.

Please keep in mind that she was never able to look me directly in the eyes, she had her hoodie up, with her black bob hair pocking out around her chin, her dark glasses were shading her eyes and she kept her hand up over the top of said dark glasses as though shielding her face from non-existent sunlight. (Perhaps the fluorescents were too strong…)

“The police told me to come here”.

I kid you not – this was the first thing she said to me. The Los Angeles police, told her to come here, to Famima!! There were several things wrong with this sentence, but I let them slide I mean, I’m paid to look after customers – even if they are sent by the LAPD.

“I have my own home, I’ve had it for over 3 years. There’s a Korean Christian man in my home.”

For me, the devil was certainly in the details here. I’m not sure why his being both Christian and Korean was relevant to what she was telling me, but there you go.

“I’ve tried to get him to leave for 2 years, but he won’t go. I can’t use my home because he’s in it.”

I responded with a murmured agreement of how awful that must be for her, not being able to use her home for two years as it’s being occupied by a Korean Christian man.

“So the police told me to come here. I’m in a homeless shelter, and I’d like some food. Do you have any food you can give me? I don’t have any money, and I can’t go back home because of the man. He’s got a knife.”

Now I know I should be feeling the milk of human kindness flowing forth from me at this point – but ALL I can think of is this TittyBangBang character. I want to laugh. I can’t laugh. Which makes me want to laugh more.

I’m winding up my tour of duty at Famima!!, and if this had happened a year ago when I started I’d’ve been getting a meal for her right then and there. Of course, since my beginnings at Famima!! I’ve been (specifically AT Famima!!):

1. Robbed
2. Fleeced out of $70 odd bucks (see earlier blog entries)
3. Threatened in person
4. Lied to
5. Insulted
6. Received obscene, threatening phone calls

So I no longer react to this sort of story as I once would have – for better or for worse. I politely explained that we didn’t have any free food, to which she replied:

“What, none today? Ok.” And left. That's it - just walked out.

During the week we often have free samples – and the key here is that they are FREE SAMPLES. No story needed.

Still, it was interesting. I mean, he had a knife.